![]() Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.What are a shark's two favorite words? Man overboard.A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a whiskey… and a cola." "Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. ![]() Do you know what I saw today? Everything I looked at.What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.What's a cat's favorite dessert? A bowl full of mice-cream.More Hilarious Short Jokes Shutterstock / READ THIS NEXT: 146 Knock-Knock Jokes Sure to Crack You Up. Why do birds fly south in the winter? It's faster than walking.Why did the gym close down? It just didn't work out.Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor? It needed help figuring out its problems.How do you throw a space party? You planet.Why won't peanut butter tell you a secret? He's afraid you'll spread it.What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between us, something smells.What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.What's a snake's favorite subject in school? Hiss-tory.What do you call bears with no ears? B.What did one traffic light say to the other? Stop looking at me, I'm changing.Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed.Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.Why couldn't the leopard play hide-and-seek? Because he was always spotted.What do you call a rooster staring at a piece of lettuce? A chicken sees a salad.Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.Why did the M&M go to school? Because he wanted to be a Smartie.Why aren't koalas actual bears? They don't meet the koalafications.What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse.Genuinely Funny Short Jokes Shutterstock / READ THIS NEXT: 83 Math Jokes Sure to Make Everyone Laugh. What's a private investigator's favorite shoe? Sneak-ers.What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats.What does the man on the moon do when his hair gets too long? Eclipse it.Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.What is an astronaut's favorite part on a computer? The space bar.Why can't male ants sink? They're buoy-ant.A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!".What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous wreck.Why do French people eat snails? They don't like fast food.What is Forrest Gump's password? 1Forrest1.What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line.What's red and moves up and down? A tomato in an elevator.How does a rabbi make coffee? Hebrews it.Have you heard about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu: You get what you deserve.What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? Thanks-I'll never part with it.Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.Want to hear a construction joke? Oh never mind, I'm still working on that one.Why don't calculus majors throw house parties? Because they don't want their guests to drink and derive.Why did the nurse need a red pen? In case she needed to draw blood.Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank the coffee before it was cool.Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? Because they always take things literally.What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? "Make me one with everything.".Short Jokes Adults Will Love Shutterstock / Ljupco Smokovski
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